Beautiful Pain by J.M. Walker

Author:J.M. Walker [Walker, J.M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-08-08T16:00:00+00:00

Mae

Falling in love with Matteo would be the best decision I had ever made…but giving him that part of myself would make me vulnerable.

“Mae,” he said, his voice gruff.

“I don’t expect you to feel the same way. We both have a history…but I…”

“I refuse to give someone the chance to break me…again.”

I nodded, swallowing past the lump in my throat and stepped out of his embrace. “Okay…well I…I’ll leave then.”

“No.” Matteo grabbed my arm, spinning me towards him. “That’s not what I…shit.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Come.” He guided me to the living room and sat on the couch, pulling me down beside him. “I was raised to use women. They were for one thing and one thing only. After my mom died, I found out my dad changed completely. He loved her more than his own existence. I’m not a nice man, Mae. I’ve fucked women because I had nothing better to do. I would force their submission because their cries of protest turned me on. But you,” he pulled me onto his lap, running his fingers through my hair. “You’ve made me see that there is more. That not every woman wants to destroy me.”

“I would never—”

“I know.” He let out a heavy sigh.

“Do you know that, Matteo?”

“What?”

“We’ve been dating for what feels like a lifetime even though it’s only been a couple of weeks. Sometimes we move forward and then something sets us back where we close off from each other.”

Matteo looked down at his hand on my hip, his fingers brushing back and forth over my skin.

When he didn’t say anything, I continued. “When Morgan came to you, I thought I lost you before I even found you. And then tonight Andre…he scared me, Matteo. I didn’t know who he was until he mentioned his son’s name. I should have known. I knew something was off at the restaurant. But I thought I was being paranoid.”

“Marketa—”

“No! I need to be strong. I can’t keep looking over my shoulder. I can’t keep living in fear. I moved here so I would be safe.” I rose from his lap, grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around me. “Cello and Nika have done so much for me. My dad has done what he can even though he’s miles away. And you…I can’t begin to tell you what you’ve done. But something is missing.”

Matteo pushed to his feet and grabbed my hand.

“I can feel it,” I muttered, watching him slip his fingers between mine.

“It’s like a hole in your chest,” he said finally.

I nodded.

“It’s like you can’t breathe. No air is there to take into your lungs.”

I nodded again.

Matteo cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. “What we have…whatever this is, I want more too. I’m willing to fight my demons for you. I refuse to give into the darkness.”

“We can battle the darkness together.”

“How? I’m man enough to admit that my darkness scares the shit out of me.

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